Author Archives: Harry Estes

I have had difficulty with friendships as far back as I can remember. I lived in a very rural area in which only one other boy my age lived close. I believe because of this I didn’t learn how to interact with other kids. Adults were always around, and by watching how they interacted, that’sContinue reading “Friendships”

Growing up I had a tremendous fear of men. For whatever reason, and reasons I’m still not certain, I was terrified of adult men. I struggled in elementary school to make friends with other boys, but once I did, the friendships became easier. Oddly enough, it wasn’t until middle school that I finally could feelContinue reading “Fears”

I’m not sure if other survivors have experienced this, but one of the hardest things for me to do is see myself. I posted a picture today showing the beard that I’ve been growing since we’ve been in quarantine. I had to take several pictures, deleting them over and over again because the just didn’tContinue reading “Looking At Myself”

It was only through being honest was I able to transform myself from a victim to a survivor. For a long time, I couldn’t understand the guilt and shame that I was feeling. I blamed myself for the abuse the occurred to me. I figured since I was the one that wanted his friendship soContinue reading “Victim to Survivor”

One of the best things I ever did for my own healing was to enter into therapy and take medication. Once I was honest with a therapist and discussed my sexual abuse, I truly felt healing taking place. However, healing is not an overnight solution. Just like a journey it takes time and hard work.Continue reading “Therapy and Medication”

The first time I was molested, I was 13. Honestly, I thought I had something to do with it. I was so confused about how the relationship changed with my neighbor that I felt responsible for what happened. My first fear is that if my parents found out they would be mad, disown me, andContinue reading “Beginning My Journey”

I guess it’s not a coincidence that I start my first blog on Easter Sunday. My faith has had a great deal to do with my healing from the trauma of my own sexual abuse. I know that my innocence and my young adulthood was robbed from me, but my manhood and my identity wasContinue reading “Happy Resurrection Day”