Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse
Being Kind to Yourself
It seems like lately kindness is getting harder and harder to find out in our society. I wish I knew why that is. I’m sure I could focus on our political or economic climate, the confinement we’ve all felt because of COVID, or a myriad of other factors which are pervasive in our society. Yet,Continue reading “Being Kind to Yourself”
Change is Terrifying
Yesterday, I went to church and for the first time in a long time I was able to remove my mask. I loved the fact that I didn’t have something covering my face and restricting my breathing. I’ll be thrilled when this mask mandate is lifted. Just another significant change towards normal, which felt great.Continue reading “Change is Terrifying”
What Do I Need?
I asked this question of myself the other day: What do I need to continue my journey of recovery? I feel like I’ve come so far since my youth in becoming more emotionally healthy. Currently, I am in therapy once a week, which has been outstanding. I’ve been exercising five to six time a weekContinue reading “What Do I Need?”
When Do I Tell?
In my experience, the disclosure of sexual abuse can sometimes be as traumatizing as the experience itself. When I first told others about my past sexual abuse, I cried more at that time then when I was abused. I felt scared, anxious, and alone when I first revealed my past. I wasn’t certain how peopleContinue reading “When Do I Tell?”
Resistance to Change
If this last year has taught me anything, it has been to be flexible. My personality does not do change well. I prefer a routine, some stable set of activities that I can rely on so that I can function when things get difficult. No one really had that this year. I think that someContinue reading “Resistance to Change”
Do I Deserve Happiness?
I think that many of us as that question frequently. For myself, I usually answer that question with a confident “no”. I believe it’s because I can look at all of the poor choices in my life and realize that I don’t deserve to have any happiness. From a purely human standpoint, I believe thatContinue reading “Do I Deserve Happiness?”
Dressing Up the Dead
I was recently listening to some old albums when I came across a song by the band, Flyleaf, called “This Close”. The lyrics that struck me are: I don’t know who I am anymoreNot once in life have I been realBut I never felt this close beforeI’ve been looking in your windowI’ve been dressing inContinue reading “Dressing Up the Dead”
Protection
As I’m starting my four book, the theme of protection comes up several times. Any one who has experienced any type of trauma knows that protection is one of our first priorities. I believe it is something that survivors of sexual abuse rarely let loose. First of all, physical protection is crucial in how aContinue reading “Protection”
Maintaining Connections
Recently, I’ve re-connected with some friends from high school and college. It’s been invigorating for me because I’m very much an introvert. Especially since I’ve been teaching from home, I’ve become deeply involved in my introverted activities. I confessed to one of my friends that I need to reach out to others more because, ifContinue reading “Maintaining Connections”
Expanding My View of Masculinity
Growing up, I believed that only a certain type of man was masculine. I’m certain the timing of my youth, in addition to the area in which I lived and the men that surrounded my shaped my view of masculinity. A true man, in my youthful mind, was a guy who was silent and somewhatContinue reading “Expanding My View of Masculinity”
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