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Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse

Suicidal Thoughts

I have struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was six years old. I remember vividly how difficult first grade was for me. The weather was extremely cold that year and I had several bouts with pneumonia and bronchitis. So I was out of school a lot and never was able to make connections with otherContinue reading “Suicidal Thoughts”

Do Over?

In my therapy session today, we talked about things that we would do over if we could. Of course, I made sure that it was with the caveat that I could do it over again with the same knowledge that I have now. I’d never want to do anything in my life again if IContinue reading “Do Over?”

Choosing a New Identity

I never realized how pervasive my sexual abuse has affected my entire person. Every part of my personality has changed because of one very selfish act by a perpetrator. It has changed me so much, I sometimes don’t really know who I truly am. Obviously, my sexual abuse has confused my sexual identity and alteredContinue reading “Choosing a New Identity”

I Don’t Feel Sexy

Every survivor I’ve talked with has varying degrees of troubling body image. None of us feel our bodies are good enough, so we do a variety of things to transform our bodies into something we feel better about. The only thing is that rarely happens when the transformation is on the outside only. Over theContinue reading “I Don’t Feel Sexy”

Freedom

One of my close friends recently told me that he has come to terms with a lot of the sadness that he’s experienced in life. He said that the sad times have helped define who he is at this moment, and even though they were really difficult, he wouldn’t change them for anything in theContinue reading “Freedom”

Our Journey

A couple of weeks ago, I went to visit a good friend in Washing state. He lives right along the Columbia river in a rural area, so we got to go hiking a lot. The first hike he took me on was amazing but arduous. I’ve been going to the gym a lot, so IContinue reading “Our Journey”

Change is Terrifying

Yesterday, I went to church and for the first time in a long time I was able to remove my mask. I loved the fact that I didn’t have something covering my face and restricting my breathing. I’ll be thrilled when this mask mandate is lifted. Just another significant change towards normal, which felt great.Continue reading “Change is Terrifying”

What Do I Need?

I asked this question of myself the other day: What do I need to continue my journey of recovery? I feel like I’ve come so far since my youth in becoming more emotionally healthy. Currently, I am in therapy once a week, which has been outstanding. I’ve been exercising five to six time a weekContinue reading “What Do I Need?”

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