Author Archives: Harry Estes

Recently, my Survivor’s group discussed the difficulty we all have with relationships. Everyone at one point in their lives has difficulties with forming and maintaining relationships, but this discussion shed a great deal of light on the unique struggles that survivors have with all types of relationships. Think back to a time when you hadContinue reading “Struggling with Relationships”

One of the things I really hate about my brain is the sudden sadness that is a part of my depression. Sometimes, out of nowhere, I will experience an overwhelming sadness for absolutely no reason at all. It starts off as a tremendous feeling of low energy and then immediately becomes a sadness that IContinue reading “Sadness”

Five years ago today, I joined a group of childhood sexual abuse survivors. At that time, I was at my lowest in terms of finding others who were like-minded to support me with the journey that I had begun at 18. I had told myself that if this group didn’t work out, I was doneContinue reading “My Journey’s Anniversary”

One of the things that I found during this pandemic is that people cannot stand to be isolated very long. As humans, we seek the company of others. Even in our isolation, most of us drew together as families even closer than we had before. I found that with my family and it has beenContinue reading “No Need to Live in Isolation”

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about some of the sexual intimacy issues that occur for male survivors. I began discussing the issues that occur with young children who have been sexually abused, but I did not go into the intimacy issues that occur when the abuse occurs later in a young man’s life.Continue reading “Sexual Intimacy Issues Part 2”

Sexual intimacy is a beautiful, complex set of emotional behaviors and physical acts that, at times, can difficult for healthy functioning adults to navigate. When sexual abuse becomes a part of the scenario, intimacy can be difficult and devastating. Children were never meant to have sexual relationships. The capacity in their brains to understand andContinue reading “Sexual Intimacy Issues”

I’m part of an adult male sexual survivors group that frequently shares the stories of their childhood sexual abuse, the hurts that the abuse has caused, and the general day-to-day life of being a survivor. It hurts every time I hear the stories of our abuse! No matter how many times I’ve heard the survivor’sContinue reading “There Are No Dueling Traumas!”

I have battled with negativity and negative thoughts about myself for as long as I can remember. Once I had been sexually abused, for a long time, the negative voices were all I would listen to. It was difficult to hear any kind of complement without shooting it down with something negative or dismissing itContinue reading “Negative Voices”

I talked with my therapist today about wanting to feel things. Specifically, I want to feel like my parents did their best with what they were given when they raised me. I can say that in my head, but I don’t think I feel it in my heart. Unfortunately, as a result of my sexualContinue reading “Emotions”

I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself an anxious person. When I think of those who are anxious, I think of people who are jittery, nervous, and jumpy most of the time. However, when it comes to changes in my life, then all of a sudden, I do become quite anxious. I think and plan about changesContinue reading “Anxiety”