Author Archives: Harry Estes

Every survivor I’ve talked with has varying degrees of troubling body image. None of us feel our bodies are good enough, so we do a variety of things to transform our bodies into something we feel better about. The only thing is that rarely happens when the transformation is on the outside only. Over theContinue reading “I Don’t Feel Sexy”

One of my close friends recently told me that he has come to terms with a lot of the sadness that he’s experienced in life. He said that the sad times have helped define who he is at this moment, and even though they were really difficult, he wouldn’t change them for anything in theContinue reading “Freedom”

A couple of weeks ago, I went to visit a good friend in Washing state. He lives right along the Columbia river in a rural area, so we got to go hiking a lot. The first hike he took me on was amazing but arduous. I’ve been going to the gym a lot, so IContinue reading “Our Journey”

It seems like lately kindness is getting harder and harder to find out in our society. I wish I knew why that is. I’m sure I could focus on our political or economic climate, the confinement we’ve all felt because of COVID, or a myriad of other factors which are pervasive in our society. Yet,Continue reading “Being Kind to Yourself”

Yesterday, I went to church and for the first time in a long time I was able to remove my mask. I loved the fact that I didn’t have something covering my face and restricting my breathing. I’ll be thrilled when this mask mandate is lifted. Just another significant change towards normal, which felt great.Continue reading “Change is Terrifying”

I asked this question of myself the other day: What do I need to continue my journey of recovery? I feel like I’ve come so far since my youth in becoming more emotionally healthy. Currently, I am in therapy once a week, which has been outstanding. I’ve been exercising five to six time a weekContinue reading “What Do I Need?”

In my experience, the disclosure of sexual abuse can sometimes be as traumatizing as the experience itself. When I first told others about my past sexual abuse, I cried more at that time then when I was abused. I felt scared, anxious, and alone when I first revealed my past. I wasn’t certain how peopleContinue reading “When Do I Tell?”

If this last year has taught me anything, it has been to be flexible. My personality does not do change well. I prefer a routine, some stable set of activities that I can rely on so that I can function when things get difficult. No one really had that this year. I think that someContinue reading “Resistance to Change”

I think that many of us as that question frequently. For myself, I usually answer that question with a confident “no”. I believe it’s because I can look at all of the poor choices in my life and realize that I don’t deserve to have any happiness. From a purely human standpoint, I believe thatContinue reading “Do I Deserve Happiness?”

I was recently listening to some old albums when I came across a song by the band, Flyleaf, called “This Close”. The lyrics that struck me are: I don’t know who I am anymoreNot once in life have I been realBut I never felt this close beforeI’ve been looking in your windowI’ve been dressing inContinue reading “Dressing Up the Dead”