Recently, I’ve been involved in discussions differentiating between isolation and solitude. I’ve found myself experiencing both and sometimes not knowing the difference between the two. At times, both just feels like loneliness to me, neither leaving me with much of a positive feeling. I’m not even sure that I can explain fully isolation and solitudeContinue reading “Isolation and Solitude”
Author Archives: Harry Estes
Living in Community
If you have frequented my site, you’ll notice that I talk a lot about community and isolation. I think adult survivors have a very difficult time with the two. For me, it’s a love/hate relationship with both. I strongly desire to live in connection with others because I do feel a sense of joy whenContinue reading “Living in Community”
Friendship vs Isolation
I’ve read a few things recently that discuss how difficult it is to develop friendships as a survivor. I believe that everyone struggles with building and maintaining friendships, but I also believe that male survivors have an even more difficult time because of the trust that has been broken in our lives by our perpetrators.Continue reading “Friendship vs Isolation”
Boundaries in Relationship
As a survivor, I struggle a lot with boundaries in relationships. Unfortunately, I believe its common for survivors to have a tough time setting and maintaining healthy boundaries with friendships and other relationships. When I was younger, I was so starved for attention that I had very few boundaries with others. I wanted to haveContinue reading “Boundaries in Relationship”
True Relaxation!
For most of my life, I can remember few times when I’ve experienced a truly relaxing time. Even while I’m sitting down, not doing anything, I am not in a relaxed state of mind or body. For example, since it’s football season, I watch a lot of college and professional football. I’ll plop down onContinue reading “True Relaxation!”
Feeling Positive
One of the hardest things I have to do on a daily basis is to feel positive about my current situation, whatever that may be. My commute has been one of the greatest negatively impactful parts of my day. Every year it seems to get a bit longer, and there appears to be more andContinue reading “Feeling Positive”
Turn Your Back and Run
This is a title to a song by Demon Hunter that I absolutely love! To me, it reminds me that I need to draw myself away from sin by running away from it. I’m really good at running, especially from problems, which I don’t think the song is advocating! I know a number of survivorsContinue reading “Turn Your Back and Run”
Anniversary Syndrome
It’s been 39 years since I was molested by my perpetrator, and I will always remember the date, Saturday, August 31, 1985. Although the event has been cemented into my memory, the trauma of the time doesn’t affect me nearly as badly as it did years ago. I believe a big part of it wasContinue reading “Anniversary Syndrome”
Walls
I think most survivors of sexual abuse would agree that we have built up emotional walls our entire life. For me, I’ve built up these walls because I need to protect myself from others who potentially might harm me, and the reason that I have done this is because I didn’t have healthy boundaries inContinue reading “Walls”
Anger
Needless to say, I don’t deal with anger very well at all. I remember my mother getting angry when a was younger, which I don’t think she dealt with it very well either. She would hold her emotions inside of her until she could no longer suppress it, and the anger would come out explosively.Continue reading “Anger”
Harry L. Estes 