I had a very good friend of mine killed over the weekend. He knew about my past, but if it ever inhibited him from maintaining and deepening our friendship, he never indicated it. We rarely talked about it, but the few times that we did, he was very causal and truthful. For him, he was much more concerned at developing our friendship rather than focusing on something in the past. He was all about the present and enjoying our time together. His friendship gave me so much hope.
For a long time, I hoped that I could just be like everyone else. I hoped that I could be normal. I hoped that I could just forget about my abuse or just leave it behind. I hoped that I could be a good friend to other people. I hoped I could be a good husband and a good father. Even through the darkest of my depression and the emptiest thoughts, I had just a little bit of hope that the next day would be better. Every day did get better and my hope increased.
I’m at a point in my life now where I’m no where near the depths of my emotional and physical depression. My life moves at a good pace. I’ve got a great therapist who helps me out tremendously. I also have loving family members and friends who care deeply about the hope that is within me. As a survivor, hope can sometimes feel so far away that it is unattainable. My prayer is that you will hold onto the smallest ounce of light in the darkest part of your life because that light will guide you to a better place in life.