I have had some recent discussions with fellow survivors centering on our value. Many survivors, and some others who have not experienced sexual abuse, have a difficult time with our self value. I began to look at my value different after having some of these discussions. I had always believed that I had no value at all, no importance to anyone, and that people thought very little of me whatsoever. Yet, I realized that was founded more on my self-worth based on the actions that I did for others and very little about my own value.
I started to understand that I have value, no matter what I believed my worth to others was. One of the reasons that I had this particular value is because, no matter what circumstance I was in, I strived to better myself. If I didn’t have some value, I would have given up completely a long time ago. Yet, I must value myself to some degree because I still provide for myself physically and emotionally all the time. And this brought along another aspect of my value, which was hope.
If I have some value, then I must have some hope in the future, too. I hope that I will realize my value to a much greater extent as I watch my interactions with others. My desire is that what I do will benefit others, and to a small degree, I want them to like me, too. What can I say, I’m a people pleaser! Nonetheless, I still shouldn’t let what others think of my shape my value and my worth.
I’ve been on this journey of recovery for several decades, so I hope that others realize that these revelations take time. Truly, these milestones are things that I fight for and that I battle with. Nothing worth having comes very easily, and it is my hope that you will partner with others to help fight for your own recovery. In this way, you may be encouraged by the hope you see in others as they also obtain victories.