There was a point in my recovery when I was so comfortable with my past sexual abuse that I was telling everyone who was significant about it. I didn’t really care anymore about what others thought about what had happened in the past because, frankly, it was in the past. I talked to my Sunday School class, I opened up to close friends, and I even would let acquaintances know that I was a sexual abuse survivor. My life was an open book and I was going to let God use me in whatever capacity He felt necessary. He healed me, He put me back together, and He supplied me with everything that I needed in order to live completely for him.
However, as with most difficult topics, not everyone was as receptive as I would have liked them to be. No one was ever rude or contentious with me, but I wasn’t welcomed with open arms or seen as some brave warrior by everyone that came into contact with my story. I couldn’t understand why for a long time, Wasn’t someone who had a story about how God has changed their life supposed to talk about that? Wasn’t that the message of Jesus in the Gospels? Wasn’t I supposed to tell my testimony to everyone whom God sent my way? Surely, I could impact someone’s life for the better with the tragic events of my own life!
Regardless of how I express what God has done for me, I need to use His wisdom in how I speak to anyone. Some will be receptive and others will not. However, that is not for me to worry about. God has taught me a great deal about prudence and being lead by His guidance rather than my own. Now before I speak or before I decide that I’m going to fully disclose my past to someone, I pray that what I say and how I say it will be filled with God’s love and redemption.
I certainly do not want to discourage anyone in how they best express their own recovery story. I had to go through all of those steps so that I could really make this story my own by God’s grace and wisdom. For those of you who haven’t told your story, I pray for multiple blessings when you decide to make that step. For those of you who have spoken up, I pray for continued strength to reach others. Above all, keep talking because that is the only way that we are going to put a stop to childhood sexual abuse.
Harry L. Estes 