I hope that those of you who read this blog don’t tire of my posts regarding holidays, but these are some difficult times for survivors of sexual abuse. Most survivors I know where abused by a family member, not a stranger. Those family members were usually present at some or all of the holidays, which can bring back horrible memories of the past. Rather than enjoying the time off from work or the time reminiscing with family, survivors dread family gatherings and experience some of their worst depressive symptoms ever. It’s a challenging time for many survivors.
To survivors, I want to encourage you to not let your perpetrators win. Wherever you are at in your journey, find a way to enjoy the holidays. Maybe that means you spend it with friends rather than family. Maybe that means you take a trip away for the holidays so that you are in a different environment. Maybe that means you face your family member, reminding them they no longer have power over you. Do whatever it takes to win back your joy and peace during this time.
To those of you who know a survivor, I would encourage you to reach out to just a little bit more to your survivor friend. I had so many friends reach out to me this Thanksgiving, just to see how I was and wish me a good holiday. It was an incredible boost for my self-worth, and these people will never know just how much that meant to me. It is sometimes the smallest of gestures that can make the biggest impact on a survivor. I wish I could express the impact those messages had on me. Never underestimate how a simple act of kindness can make a huge difference.
Over the next few weeks, please take moment and communicate with one another. You might never know how much that would mean to someone, but it could make the biggest difference in someone’s life.
Harry L. Estes 