I have recently decided that one of my future novels is a historical fiction story centered on my hometown. For those of you who might be new to my site, I grew up in a small town in north central Wyoming.
Unfortunately, I allowed my sexual abuse to color most all of my memories of growing up in that small town. I couldn’t look into the past without remembering what had happened to me, regardless of the timeline in which it occurred. My sexual abuse has acted like an infection to all my memories, even before the molestation occurred. I can’t think about any time in my life without also remembering what happened to me when I was thirteen years old. Yet recently, I’ve been able to isolate my abuse and separate it from much of my growing up years. I attribute that to some very kind words from my former classmates, but also the ability to look at my life objectively.
The thing that I appreciate the most about where I grew up is the education I received while I lived there. I had many teachers who were extremely caring and engaging, which made me want to do well in school. I believe the smaller environment of the schools also allowed me to flourish because of the attention that I received from my teachers. Furthermore, I think that many of my teachers were very dedicated educators and truly wanted to best for me. I’m extremely thankful that I had school as a sanctuary for me, a place where I could excel and discover more about who I was.
Living in a small town also made me very independent and self-reliant. Of course, that could be just the generation we grew up in, but I feel like I was able to do things on my own and to a greater extent than what my peers here in California did. I was able to travel to many different places and have some wonderful experiences there. I was able to drive at a very young age, which allowed me to develop a sense of responsibility as a young teen. I was able to try out a variety of different things in school, too. I participated in band, I was in the debate class for a year, I was in cross country and track for a couple of years, and I was involved in several different service organizations which expanded my horizons greatly. Those experiences have shaped me greatly in my adult life.
I know for many survivors, the place where they grew up is filled with trauma and negative experiences. My hope is that those survivors who lived through these toxic environments can find some positive outcomes from their hometowns. These are the places that have shaped us, for better or for worse. But we can turn any negativity into something that makes us stronger in the end.
Harry L. Estes 