If this last year has taught me anything, it has been to be flexible. My personality does not do change well. I prefer a routine, some stable set of activities that I can rely on so that I can function when things get difficult. No one really had that this year. I think that some have thrived, but I fear that most of us have struggled more than we allow ourselves to admit.
Most survivors struggle with change. At times, I know that many survivors live in chaos because that’s all that they know. Most of us find safety and security in the routine and stable experiences we have developed over time. It’s hard to adjust emotionally when that comfort is disrupted since it sends us back to the traumatic experiences we had growing up. Besides, we’ve worked really hard for that cozy habits that give us the perception we are just as normal as anyone else!
Nonetheless, for those of you who are not survivors, remember how important these routines are for our well-being. Survivors spend a lot of time constructing our lives so that we can function, and ultimately thrive, in our environment. Disrupting or criticizing these routines is disrespecting the dedication and hard work that we did. It may not seem like much, but for us, it’s all we have. To the survivors, challenge yourself to go beyond the routine! Get to a spot where you can start to venture out of the comfort zone of the predictable so that you can function when things do go awry, because you know they will! Build that strong foundation of a routine so that eventually you can continue growing and healing even when life throws you a curveball. Also, be forgiving of yourself. If you make a mistake or get scared, a solid routine will always be that security blanket to run to when you need it the most.
Harry L. Estes 