Sexual intimacy is a beautiful, complex set of emotional behaviors and physical acts that, at times, can difficult for healthy functioning adults to navigate. When sexual abuse becomes a part of the scenario, intimacy can be difficult and devastating.
Children were never meant to have sexual relationships. The capacity in their brains to understand and process the feelings and roles involved are just not developed. However, when a child experiences a sexual relationship with an adult, an awakening happens in their brains. They must comprehend and resolve these issues without the mental ability to connect sexual intercourse with any previous experiences. Even with adult guidance and counseling, that undertaking is a difficult task.
Now, imagine a young child whose first sexual experience is with an adult much older than they are. Their mind begins to fill in the blanks because of the lack ability to understand that experience. Rarely does a child’s mind piece that puzzle together with healthy comprehension. Most of the time, this sexual act is associated with secrecy because the adult coerces the child into keeping it quiet. This act of sexual secrecy can link sex with guilt and shame. As a child grows up, they can become ashamed of their bodies and their natural sexual desires. Emotional pain and anguish multiply, diminishing any sense of self they child has developed. It’s an easy step from this point for that child to become involved in substance abuse, suicidal ideation, overactive and deviant sexual behavior, or the complete lack of any emotional attachment to another person. The list of psychoses can be ongoing.
If I can provide any insight to the behavior of a person who has been sexually abused, then I would ask that you care for them in the best way possible. It’s difficult not to judge someone based upon the behavior we see outwardly. Take the time to understand where that person might have been as a young child before giving a harsh or condemning word
Harry L. Estes 