Everyone can attest to the fact that being heard, truly listened to, is one of the most satisfying things that can happen. As a survivor, being heard becomes especially important because it gives us back a sense of validation and security that was taken away from us. For a number of survivors, being listened to is important because our attempts at disclosing our abuse were dismissed. Also, so much of a survivor’s life is hiding our emotions, our depression, and our pain, so having someone who listens to you and wants to understand is an incredible feeling of affirmation.
As a survivor though, it’s important that we find people with whom we can be vulnerable to. We need to work hard to find a person we can trust and who will understand the difficulties that we face. So many times I feel so completely unstable and that my emotions go up and down so much that I really need people in my life to know that I’m working really hard to normalize my emotions. It doesn’t work all the time and sometimes I’m glad that I’m functional enough to get through the day. Other times, I could appear perfectly normal and rational. It’s nice to have people who can surround me who can take that shift in emotions.
If you have a friend who is a survivor, you probably already know some of the turmoil that person goes through. You are a patient, caring, and dependable person. You have entered into a journey of healing with a person trying to navigate a trauma that few in society want to talk about. You may be the only person that survivor can confide in, so you are invaluable to them.
I get to participate in a Local Author’s Festival in which I will be able to showcase and sell my books. It will connect my face to the issues of childhood sexual abuse. But it is also a time when I can be heard about a topic that so few people want to face. I’m hoping that this is one step in helping raise more awareness about this issue.
Harry L. Estes 