Many people ask me how I stay motivated to do the things I do, working with a special education population, going to the gym, writing books, etc. I hate to answer this way, but I am rarely motivated to do any of these things consistently. I hope that doesn’t deflate your view of me or that it stops you from starting up some new adventure in your life. The only things I do have motivation for are going to sleep at night and drinking coffee while reading a book in bed.
Most everything in my life comes from discipline, which can start with motivation, but I had to persevere to keep those tasks going. I used to think of my life as mostly routine, but for the most part, I lead a fairly disciplined life. I don’t often have an excitement or a thrill about going to work, but I know that I have to do it to support my family. In the end, though, I do end up enjoying most of the days I spend teaching. I have some anxiety about going to the gym sometimes, but once I’m done, I feel pretty good about whatever I accomplished. My writing only happens when I schedule it into my day, and it usually ends up being more prolific that I could have hoped for. All of these things are not easy for me to do, and they certainly don’t start off as tasks that I’m excited to begin.
Our healing journey is much the same way. I started off excited about the potential to move beyond my past and become the person I always wanted to be. But when things got hard, my motivation to continue almost dropped off completely. In order for me to continue with therapy, work on myself with the new tools and behaviors that I was learning, and change my way of thinking, only came through repeated trial and error over a long period of time. As I enter this time when I’m stopping therapy, I get excited about this new phase of my life. But I know from experience that if I don’t persevere through the difficult times, I’m not going to change in the way that I want to without the support of my therapist.
I encourage you to dig deep with your recovery. It’s not an easy process and has probably more frustrations that it does victories. But nothing worth doing comes easily. And please find someone to share your frustrations and victories with. Don’t do this alone,
Harry L. Estes 